The Battle between Picking up and Overwhelm

I feel myself waking up and the first thing in my mind is a list of things to do. “Quiet!”, I think and focus on breathing and starting the day in a focused, assertive and intentional way.

I get ready, make my bed, get something to eat and then it happens. Paralysis. What to do first? How to complete everything or anything at all? And once it is done, it will start again.

All the comments heard through the years flow in my head. A clean house is a happy house, cooking should be a pleasure, washing dishes is relaxing, doing laundry is easy, it’s the folding that takes forever.

Everybody has some variety of how they deal with the maintenance of the chores of the ever present need to pick up.

So then I try to rationalize what this does for me: Nothing! Yes the kids will grow up in a clean ordered house and yes they should learn to pick up as well and be organized and aim for order. But for me personally, the everyday grind without something to balance it out is no good.

Some other women, focus on their jobs, or their hobbies, or businesses, and that gives them a good enough explanation for leaving the house to fend for itself.

Let’s face it, even with a cleaning service, the movement of stuff around the house is never going to stop.

So the choices are start and chin up or grab a book and put the world on pause until stronger feelings of cleanliness compulsion arrive.

Yes, be thankful for what you have and the ability to clean and pick up.

But honor yourself and fight the guilt of not jumping into chores as the meaning for life.

I guess I am not alone, even if sometimes it feels like it. In this world full of solutions, how to’s and diy’s, I am guilty of second guessing myself and not being perfect!